Little Box of Secrets

'Never look back', whispered the voice inside my head as I ran as fast as my weak and tired legs could carry me. The cold wind lashed violently against my bare cheeks but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. I shouldn't. I had to keep moving on to keep us safe, me and my baby. I ran and ran till I was out of breath...till I had to stop. I looked back and smiled. They're gone. I shifted the baby to my left arm and reached inside my jacket pocket for the crumpled piece of paper that held my future...our future. I had some money in my purse to last us a few days but we didn't have a place to stay. I thought and thought but couldn't think of anything. I had no one, no one but the baby, MY baby. I was hungry and cold, the jacket was barely enough to keep us warm. Then suddenly, I remembered. I rushed to the nearest subway and bought a ticket with the precious cents which I'd managed to save. It's been three days since I've been

I want to write. But how do I write when I can't even figure myself out? How can I make sense when I've lost complete control of my senses? I don't know what's wrong with me, what happened to me or what I need... I feel so lost. I feel like a ship without a compass. Hell! I don't even know what I want anymore. I don't even remember since when i've been like this. I've withdrawn myself emotionally from almost everyone that's close to me, causing me to lose a few 'friends'. I remember when I used to wish that I felt nothing. Now, it's like I feel nothing except the emptiness that's killing me. I feel like a zombie. I'm so lost. I don't know what to do! HELP!